The Wolfenden's: June 2009

So today is the 4^th anniversary of the worst day of my life!!! Most of you know that Drake, Ross and I were involved in a head on collision that broke my ankle 4 years ago… What most of you don’t know is that I think about it almost EVERYDAY. It has affected almost every aspect of my driving and my life… what I drive, where I drive, what I think about while driving, my kids, my husband…

Most people, Ross included, do not like to talk about or hear about that day… so if you are one of those people STOP reading, otherwise continue reading (this is helpful to me)

Okay here is the story

Our anniversary in May 31^st and Ross and I usually try to spend at least one night together somewhere special. My mom and dad had taken Drake (18 months old at the time) home with them for a week. During the week Drake got sick and Mom took him to the doctor. He had an ear infection which was common for Drake at that time, however the once the ear infection was discovery the doctor stopped looking for a problem. Come to find out Drake also had a sever throat infection.

On Friday night, Ross and I and Aaron and his girlfriend (at the time) Crystal all went out to the Olive Garden for dinner and then to the Drive In movie in Fayetteville, we saw Hitch. During the movie my Mom called to say that she was taking Drake to the ER at Arkansas Children’s Hospital. Ross and I immediately left from the movie and drove to Little Rock. When we got there Drake and my Mom were still waiting in the ER. Once we got in they had to give Drake an IV because he was dehydrated from not being able to swallow. He also had to have an X-ray to make sure there was not a mass growing in his throat that was causing the obstruction. Once it was determined that he had an infection he was put on IV antibiotics and fluid and we had to stay the night and most of the next day. Late on Saturday we were able to leave. We all went back to Mom and Dad’s in Sheridan.

On Sunday, we had lunch at my Grandparent’s house. Everyone was there, my parents, Tricia, Aunt Mary and Uncle Bill… Melissa was working at UAMS then and was at work. We usually have lunch and then would hang out at Grandma and Papa’s for a while and visit but Ross and I were ready to get home so we loaded all of Drake’s stuff in the TRUCK and put Drake in his carseat (my Dad made the comment that he thought the straps were too tight on Drake’s seat and I told him that you were only supposed to be able to fit one finger between the strap and the child) and we left at about 2:40.

We decided to go through Sheridan, which was unusual because we had a full tank of gas and we only go through Sheridan if we need gas. I was driving and I turned towards Sheridan out of the driveway. We were almost to HWY 167, the road through Sheridan to the interstate, and Ross and I were trying to figure out what the guy in front of us had in the back of his truck (it was a deer stand, imagine that). When we turned on to 167 from 35 I saw a log truck coming, my Dad always told me that if you can see a car coming it is too close to pull out there, but I did, so I gunned it to get out of the way of the truck. From Crossroads to Sheridan the south bound lane has 2 lanes and the north only has one. Less than a mile after turning on to 167 I saw the truck with the deer stand swerve out of our lane on to the shoulder. Then I saw a Toyota Corolla driving south in the north lane, my lane. I remember Ross yelling “OH SHIT” and I tried to swerve and stop but it was too late. They hit us almost directly head on at 60mph. I passed out and when I could open my eyes I did not want too. I could still hear the radio, Sugarland Baby Girl was playing. I said a prayer for Ross and Drake and then looked. Ross was all bloody from his nose and Drake was silent but fine. Drake’s cup, pedia sure, had hit him in the head and he had a knot. Ross’ ankle was hurt, nose was bloody, and elbow was hurt. My foot had broken the brake in half and crushed my ankle. Soon after I saw all of this Onstar came on and asked if we were hurt and if we needed help. She called 911 and then called my Grandma’s house to tell my parents. Both mine and Ross’ cell phones were dead and we could not have found them even if we could have used them. My Grandma answered and the lady asked for my Dad. Then I got to talk to him. I told him that we had an accident and where we were and that we needed but we were OK. He, my mom and Tricia left immediately. Tricia did not even have shoes on when they left. My grandparents and aunt and uncle followed too. Just after we got off the phone a lady came to my side of the truck and said “Give me the baby” my first response was no you do not move anyone after a crash, especially a head on collision. But then she looked down and there were all kinds of “liquids” running out of the truck and she said I am a nurse I need to get the baby out. So Ross reached around and took Drake out of his seat and I handed him to the lady. In the next few minutes lots of people stopped and tried to help as best they could. Our windshield was busted and we could not see in front of the truck.

It did not take very long for my family to arrive. I think they got there before the paramedics even. Once they saw that we were alive and not in serious danger, my dad started trying to help with the other car. Ross and I did not know what was going on with the other people, but Ross knew they needed more help than we did. When the paramedics arrived they checked us and told us that they had to get the other people out first that they were more seriously injured. I have to admit I was mad that they were not working on getting us out. It was not our fault that this happened and it was hot (~100 degrees). Finally, they got us out of the truck and in to an ambulance. One of the paramedics asked what hospital we wanted to go to. All we said was just not Jefferson. She agreed and got on the radio. Once we were in the ambulance I heard over the radio that there were children in the other car and that at least one had died and the other was coding. The helicopter was landing in Sheridan to pick the child up.

There were not enough ambulances to take everyone so Drake, who was not seriously injured rode to ACH with my parents.

We were taken to UAMS because it was the only hospital in LR that had neurosurgeons on staff. Remember Melissa, my sister was at UAMS when this all happened. Once we got to the hospital we were taken into a trauma room and they tried to figure out what all was wrong with us. Ross did not get any meds on the way because he did not want an IV which would make him have to get a catered. I had some morphine. The first thing that I remember happening was they were checking me for bleeding and found none. The whole time I am asking them to page Melissa because I did not want her to leave before she found out what was happening with us. Next a doctor came in and without any notice pulled my ankle back in to place, the worse pain I have ever felt. He told me that if I had went much longer without setting it I would have lost my foot. Then they took Ross for a CT and such. He was mostly fine, nothing broken, but messed up his elbow, shoulder, ankle, and nose. Then finally my Dad and Melissa got to come into the trauma room after they took Ross. My Dad told me that my mom and uncle had taken Drake to ACH and he was fine. The Melissa said something that I will never forget. Remember that we did not have any clothes and we had been at the hospital with Drake, so I was not looking my best when the wreck happened. So this is what she said “Wouldn’t you know this would happen on a day when you don’t have good clothes on and you hair is a mess and I have been in surgery all day and now I (Melissa) have to go out there and see all those people” oh yes she did say that to me while I was lying on a table. Oh yeah while I was still in the trauma room they were working on a guy who had unsuccessfully tried to commit suicide. They took me for scans next and when I was done there were no rooms left for me so I was put out in the hall on a gurney, naked by the nurse’s station. Ross got the last room. Lots of people came to see us and make sure we were okay. People from my parent’s church and out family filled the waiting room. The youth director and song leader came back to keep me company in the hallway. We had been talking for quit sometime and I was still nauseous from the dye I received during the scans. Told him, Cedric that I need something to puck into but the nurses were so busy that no one could help him find something. So he held out his hands so I would not have to puck onto the floor, lucky for him Melissa showed up with a pan.

Because I could not stop pucking they held us overnight in what used to be the morgue of the hospital. We were in between and couple with a baby that were driving from AL and had a wreck in LR and a psychotic woman, really! The baby screamed all night. They did not have any food or diapers and no one was helping them. Finally then next day Ross and I got to go home. Mom and Dad stayed at the hospital with us and got us some new clothes since what we had was cut off of us. Drake was fine he had a bump on this head and a burn from the strap on his carseat.

After we were stable we learned that no one from the other car lived. A whole family perished that day. Joe, Leigh, Micah, and Emma Byars died four years ago today. They were from El dorado and he was the associate pastor of a church there. They had been away for the weekend visiting family and best we know she fell asleep while driving and crossed into our lane. Both of the children were in their carseats.

Many people have told us how lucky we are, but it was not luck, it was GOD. For whatever reason GOD saved us that day and He has a plan for our lives.

So now on to my soap box… ALWAYS buckle you kids up… CORRECTLY. You NEVER know when an accident is going to happen and you will not have time to react.